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Human Contact

Some days, I just need someone to touch me.  I need to experience human contact, skin, warmth, energy, being.  Recently, I haven't been getting nearly enough.  Hugs are not even a daily occurrence, and you can forget cuddling.  I don't know if it's British people in general, or just the group of friends I've been spending time with, but there seems to be far less physical affection, and I'm starved for it.

I am pretty sure that the thing I miss most about dating someone is having that person to spend a Sunday afternoon lying in the grass with, heads in laps, or cuddled up on the couch with watching a movie.  I never lack for things to do when I'm single or without close friends who I feel like I can be that physically close to, but I definitely miss touch.

It's raining right now, and there's definitely a part of me that wants to run outside and get soaked, just to feel.  To feel wet.  To feel cold.  To know something is happening in my life and I'm a part of it.  I'm so disconnected from it sometimes.  Just wandering around, learning things, watching things.  The only time I really feel like I'm doing something, like I'm a part of something is when I'm out on the water rowing.  I guess that's why I don't mind that I spend so much of my time rowing and doing things related to rowing.  There's something about being in a boat with eight other people that makes me feel like I'm a part of something and I need that here.

It's raining harder now.  I'd be a fool if I didn't go out and enjoy it.  And honestly, dancing in the rain is something I think is always best alone.

Comments

neontally
May. 14th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
Yay! I splashed around in the puddles outside my flat. Some of them were pretty deep. I had the best time and a woman walked by and probably thought I was crazy, but smiled at me.

I want to find a creek and go swimming in it. I almost rolled around in the puddles. Maybe tomorrow, after my meeting with my tutor, of course, I'll go find a big mud puddle in the park and slide around in it. Here's hoping it's still wet enough by then.